Hidden Expectations
Surface the assumptions you have each never said out loud.
- Takes
- about 9 minutes
- Who takes part
- both of you, separately
- Account
- needed, for both of you
You will be asked to sign in first. It is free.
What this one does
You both answer the same set of quietly loaded questions — about money, holidays, family, time, effort — and the result shows where your unstated defaults differ. Most of these have never been discussed because both of you assumed the answer was obvious.
What it will not do
A mismatch here is information, not incompatibility. It only becomes a problem if it stays unspoken.
It also will not diagnose either of you, will not name a condition, and will not cite research, because there is no research behind it to cite. It is a structure for a conversation.
How it actually works
You both get asked the same things
Each of you signs in to your own account and works through it alone. If you have not linked up yet, you send one invitation link and that is the last bit of admin.
Neither of you can see the other's answers
Not while you are answering, and not after you finish if your partner has not. There is no partial reveal and no progress peek beyond whether they have finished.
You both say yes, separately
When you have both completed it, each of you is asked whether you want the comparison shown. Both answers have to be yes. One yes does nothing.
You get the comparison, in full, free
Every category and every gap, with no part of it held back for a paid tier. The scoring is ordinary arithmetic written down in our code, not a model's opinion.
Either of you can pull the plug
Withdraw your consent and the comparison stops being shown to both of you. You can delete the whole thing, and deletion means deletion.
You will both need about 9 minutes.
Free, and it stays free. There is no step later on where this asks for money.
This is not therapy, and it is not safe to use as leverage.
Between Us is not counselling or a clinical assessment, and it does not know your situation. If you are frightened of your partner, or if you are being pressured into using something like this, please stop and look at these resources instead.
Related reading: The Expectations You Never Said Out Loud