Are We Compatible?
Less about similarity than about what you do with difference.
- 19 questions
- About 5 minutes
- Free, no account
- Result shown straight away
Compatibility is not a quantity that two people either have or don't. Couples with a great deal in common come apart, and couples who agree on almost nothing stay together for forty years. What tends to matter is whether your values point roughly the same way, whether ordinary life fits together without constant negotiation, and what happens between you when you find a real difference. This quiz reads those three things from your side of it.
What it can tell you
- Where your answers sit on shared direction
- Where your answers sit on everyday fit
- Where your answers sit on what you do with a difference
- What the pattern in your own answers looks like written down
What it cannot
- Diagnose anything, or stand in for a professional opinion
- Tell you what your partner thinks, feels or intended
- Know anything you have not told it
Read this first
This is a self-reflection exercise, not an assessment or a prediction. It only hears your account — your partner might answer quite differently, and the gap between your two sets of answers is usually the more interesting thing. It cannot tell you whether to stay or go, and it doesn't measure love, which is not the same as compatibility. Compatibility also changes: people's priorities move, and a mismatch at thirty may not be one at forty. If you want something more useful than a solo snapshot, both of you answering the couples questionnaire separately will tell you much more.
About 5 minutes19 questionsNo account, no email
Questions people ask about this test
- How long does the "Are We Compatible?" test take?
- About 5 minutes. There are 19 questions, you can go back and change an answer, and the full result appears as soon as you finish.
- Do I need an account to see my result?
- No. There is no account, no email address and no payment involved in taking this test or reading the result. An account only exists if you want to keep a result to look at later — it does not unlock a longer version, because there is no longer version.
- Is this a diagnosis?
- No. This is a self-reflection exercise, not an assessment or a prediction. It only hears your account — your partner might answer quite differently, and the gap between your two sets of answers is usually the more interesting thing. It cannot tell you whether to stay or go, and it doesn't measure love, which is not the same as compatibility. Compatibility also changes: people's priorities move, and a mismatch at thirty may not be one at forty. If you want something more useful than a solo snapshot, both of you answering the couples questionnaire separately will tell you much more. The scoring is plain arithmetic applied to what you report, not an assessment by a clinician.
- Can my partner see my answers?
- No. This test is taken on your own and nothing is shared with anybody. If you want to compare answers with a partner, the separate couples test asks you both the same questions privately and only compares them once you have both finished and both agreed.
Tests that ask a neighbouring question
Worth reading alongside it
The Expectations You Never Said Out Loud
Every relationship runs on rules nobody wrote down. They only become visible at the moment one of you breaks one.
How to Talk About What Isn't Working
Most difficult conversations fail in the first thirty seconds. Here is how to open one so that it has somewhere useful to go.
Tools for one specific thing
Hidden Expectations
Surface the assumptions you have each never said out loud.
A mismatch here is information, not incompatibility. It only becomes a problem if it stays unspoken.
How Well Do You Know Me?
Answer about yourself, guess about each other, then see where the guesses land.
Guessing wrong is not a failure of love. People change, and nobody is obliged to be legible.
This test only hears your side of it.
The couples test asks you both the same questions separately, then shows you where your answers meet and where they do not. It is free, and neither of you sees the other's answers until you have both finished and both agreed.
Between Us is a reflection tool. This test is not therapy, counselling or a clinical assessment, and it cannot know your situation. If you are in immediate danger, please use these resources instead.